This poem written for For Ruth by Joset' November 7,2001 |
Acknowledgement: This site is dedicated to my husband Bob without whom I could never have written the grief poetry. He inspired so many of the thoughts, which formed the bases for each of the poems. It is our true hope that by reading these poems you will share them with others and that somehow the way we treat grief and the way we grieve, will change forever. The following is our philosophy on what would help to change our culture it starts with each of us, I have always said, "Awareness is the first step to change!" If you are a person who wants to enlarge your vision of your mission here, then you should read on.... |
Intense grief is all I can call it.... deeper than one can ever imagine. The Time We Had Was Not Enough..... is an epic poem written after Stacy's death. This poem is about the struggle of surviving the death of ones child. It is dedicated to: A world of people who do not understanding or even remotely comprehend. I wrote it to survive, hopefully you will learn from it! |
Our Philosophy: We feel, "Our Society" unlike other cultures does not accept grief as a natural progression of life. We would like to recommend a very well written small book which might help those who are going through the grief process, it is called, "Good Grief" and explains that we all grieve for so many reasons: a divorce - loss of a job - a move to a different home - our pets die etc. Changes upset us and the routine we knew, grief happens but most of us do not acknowledge it. Our culture here in America seems to have the mistaken opinion that we should shove the grief down and go on rather than deal with it! In other cultures a person in mourning is relieved of responsibilities for a year or more! Why? because they know, that person cannot function as they did before! They do NOT expect them to! They also anticipate that person will speak of their loved one and encourage it! They encouraging the person to go threw grieving by NOT saying, "You must go on!" or "They (the person who died) would not want you to be like this!" This releases the person to grieve and not feel isolated, rejected, abandoned and useless. A person in grief, feels very alone. This is there time of need and they need your help! Our culture is so narcissistic! {Totally self center]. We send a card or flowers, maybe we even show up for the memorial service. Then we "go on with our lives!" seldom giving a thought to what that persons or our closes loved one may be going through. Deep down you may know what they are experiencing, but who truly wants to deal with all that pain! We would rather assume they are doing okay, Right! We freeze up when the person tries to talk about the loss, our silence speaks volumes, with the words we do not say or we change the subject because when they speak of there loved one, it makes us face our own mortality. May I suggest that you read the poem "Grandma" to get an indication of how to listen or click on any of the grief poetry - to get a prospective on where they might be coming from emotionally. Other cultures encourage normal grief and accept the needs of the person to talk about their loss. Our culture discourages it with standard remarks like, "They would want you to go on!"... Dah! The person knows this; they have no choice but to go on! or "They're in a better place!" Yes, they are! But, I am here dealing with the pain. "God took him/her home!" They know that too! You mean well when you say this.... but this can bring about real resentment toward God! At the time when that person needs God most! I am not trying to make you feel tongue tied, just keep in mind that the following description of "True Grief" are just some of the feelings they are having, they last sometimes for years, not just days or weeks! True Grief is: To mourn, suffer sorrow, pain, be sad, be distressed, be upset, be unhappy, weep for or cry, true heartache, anguish, misery, unhappiness, lack of joy! So if someone is grieving you should do the following: Say or do something - write a note, send a card, take or send some food to them, stop by and encourage them to talk - by brings up the name of their loved one, this will help them so much because everyone else will not speak of them and it causes one to feel that they alone in there remembrance of that person. I have such a good feeling when someone says Stacy's name. It is an acknowledgement that she did exist! Don't be afraid to ask them what can I do? But. make sure that you mean it! And that they know you mean it. Be sure you don't forget to do it. Just don't forget there pain. NOT just for days or weeks we are talking months and years! After Stacy's death, those who did these things. Helped so much. There was a church who sent us cards for over a year these people will never know how much it helped, but God does! Ask God to help you find a way to show his love through you! My cousin Lana ask me what can I do? I said, "When you think of me or Stacy call and let me know!" She was the only one that ask! She will never comprehend how much her calls have saved my sanity! But, God will let her know someday! |
T E A C H E R S |
You are Loved by Joset' Not a small drop of rain. But a complete ocean... to me! Today I meet a person - who felt so very small. I watch them being so polite, my heart began to call.... they lessened with such honesty. They're always here for me. Oh that God would show them, and truly let them see. how much they brighten up my day and what they mean to me. I found myself in earnest prayer, for God to touch there heart, that he would show them, in his way. They truly play a part.... Yes, he has put them in my path, to brighten up my day! I prayed that God would let them see, their truly loving ways. For God created raindrops and each of them alone, are only single raindrops, on there very own. But put them all together and they are collectively an ocean with such beauty only God could make the Sea... This person brighten up my day just by being there... That's why, they are my ocean.. 'cause they really truly care. |
Poetry by Name |
I am Blessed by Joset' Many years have come and gone, as time flows on... I begin to realize I am blessed! By those who surround me.. they make my life so full and complete. With their laughter.... And their sadness too! With their acceptance And even their rejection They have formed me! Not that I am perfect in anyway, I know - I am the person God intended Me to be.... With all of my short comings! And my good things too. I am blessed! Because they are here with me today. |
About the Artist: My given birth name was Karen Joset' Kauffman, I have been married twice. So some may have know me as Karen Brocker the mother of James & Scott or you may know me by Karen Wiggins, wife of Bob & mother of Stacy Lee. We tragically lost Stacy at age 13. But the loss has only served as a reminder of how full even a short life can be. My favorite pass time is to create graphic designs. The designs on this site have been created by me. My next favorite past time is to write poetry. I hope you enjoy this site and visit often. Most of my poetry comes by inspiration... But some of it is a work in progress. I appricate your visit to my site and if you would like to submitt a poem or story for publication on this site please do by e-mail. |
All that Matters by Joset' All that matters is my God, he is my strength.. All that maters is my God, he is my hope. He is my confort, my partner, my friend. |
Your silence... is so deafening I could scream, "it hurts so inside!" Please help me with my healing. By releasing the tears that I hide. You pain me so... with your silence! Pretending she didn't exist. When you speak of her, it helps me know that her presents is truly missed. You asked me how I am doing. I say "pretty good" or "fine". But this healing thing is forever, It will take a whole lifetime. Please mention my darling Stacy, though we both know that she's gone. For the pain never really leaves me, and I'll never be.... "going on!" |
Just be my friend By: Joset' I will not be again the same. I will look back from whence I came. Death holds no fear for me anymore... I will not close that open door, With Gods help I will left my heart. I'll run the race, I'll do my part. Yet to somehow be the same again. Don't expect it of me, just be my friend. |
Poems of Grief |
Inspirational Poetry |
Nostalgic Poems |
The Secret Place by Joset' Close friends & love ones let me speak of her.... I have pulled away.... from those who will not. For them to think I would put her away, like some treasured handkerchief, only to be brought out in a private secret place... That's Insanity! |
Grandma by Joset' I still hear her words, "Well, I Do say!" In a most intrigued & affectionate way. You always knew & felt she cared... She wanted to hear, what you had to share. She never judged you as you spoke. Not an unkind word... 'Y she'd rather choke! We would set & talk for hours on end.... You know.... she was my first true friend! On her back porch, 'neath the cool of a tree. We would talk for hours my Grandma & me... She truly got her peace from God! I'd say something silly, she'd smile & nod. As time has passed.... now I can see, She had no judgment of you or me! The treasure that she left behind.... was true acceptance of all mankind. When my temper flares & anger comes, I ask God for patients ~ threw his son... Please Dear Lord just remind me today, To never forget, the words, "Well, I do say!" |
Mr. Do Nothing! By Joset' Mr. Do Nothing! I wanted to scream! "Could you move your feet while I vacuum here? Just move your feet... I'll get that chair" The King of his castle - on his throne! He rules the Roost! in his little home.. Load the washer? He doesn't know how! He'd sooner learn..... to milk a cow! The VCR.... he can run Plays video games... has lots of fun! Yet, wonder why I need prozac to cope! For him to do anything... there's just no Hope! He'll empty the trash - take his plate to the sink. That's it ! - That's all ! ... Life truly can STINK! |
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Respect is earned with Effort on your part! Specifically by, Purging ones self of the Elution, that it Comes To you naturally. |
Respect by Joset' |
by Joset' Can we confess nothing but good! Oh, Dear Lord, if we only could. Encouraging others along the way. Confessing good with all we say! This should be our hearts desire, those who can,,, I truly admire! The tong is just so hard to rule, and with it people are so cruel. Oh if we could only see, how beautiful life can really be... Never being offended here... Living peaceful ~ without fear. Encouraging others along there way. Confessing good with all we say! Can we confess nothing but good! Oh, Dear Lord, if we only could. |
Confessing Good |
tudents, which can last a lifetime! |
This poem was written to inspire all teachers but, especially for Jessica Howard who loves to teach. |
eal love of learning in their |
lect to instill a |
hilds mind, to true |
ctivate any |
appiness, when they |
levate and also |
eachers can choose to |
by Joset' |
I love it when people give me their opinion of my web site! |
Inspried by all who touch my life and those who's lives I touch..... November 2000 |
Your silences truly hurts me, in a way you'll never know. It feels like I'll live forever, with this life - here below. With the silence that overwhelms me, at the mere mention of her name. Please try to some how acknowledge, my life will not be the same.... I am waiting to go be with her, to see her loving smile. To hear her joyful laughter, and walk with her for miles. There are those who truly loved her. When they, talk its like hearing song! So, Please mention my darling Stacy, though we both know she's gone. |
Please, mention her in memories, My child that died, you know. Don't worry of hurting my feelings, if the depth of my pain doesn't show. |
Silence by Joset' |
